Frog's Eye View I : Brainless Photography

Frogs are pretty amazing creatures! We have good eyesight, all the better to capture food. We need our good eyesight! All the better to avoid enemies! Our eyes bulge out, so we can see in almost all directions. Now that's something you can't do!

Also, all of you had best stop fingering my eyes! I'll tell you good and clear - frogs can close their eyes by pulling the eyeballs deeper into their sockets. This action closes the upper and lower eyelids. So far, I have much yet to see! So don't you guys expect me to so much as blink when I'm out and roaming!

frog's-eye view
noun
a general view from frog height : we had a frog's-eye view from the window.
• a general view as if from the visual position of a frog (when carried, standing, seated, leaping, mid-leap, etc. - height varies accordingly) : the illustration gives a frog's-eye view of the scenery.
• a broad or general consideration (of something) from the perspective of an Educated Frog : the frog's-eye view of the financial situation is as follows.


This morning I was with Mel on the MRT when I decided that I see lots of things and it's a shame to let them slip past my green eyes without being shared with my friends and the world. So I have decided to start of a series that I will call The Frog's Eye Views. Yes, that is what I did.

My frog's eye view while I was perched on the window ledge, like so:


A pity that I was out the whole day meeting new people without my camera! I met a pair from where the Dead Sea lies, which would be the Isreal-Jordan border. And quite a few Chinese people at Yue Nan Emporium. (I fear I might have got that name wrong, for I am but a frog!)

Anyway, I was thinking of making my entire series a series of black-and-white photography, but that might be too challenging for a frog like me, and I didn't want to give the wrong impression that frogs only see in black and white! We don't! We see lots of vivid colours! (Yeah, our Beautiful Bulging Beady-Bright Eyes Bulge for a reason!)

I don't put any thought into any of the photos I intend to take for this series. I am no Magnum photographer! Remember, I am but a frog!


Only a frog, but a frog who does Good
Kodok

All the happiness!

This means Happy New Year! Because it is written in Mandarin, it means Happy Chinese New Year! Because this involves the Chinese, I will continue this post in the auspicious colour, red!

And that is what I wish you.

Your auspicious frog
Kodok

Finally!

Mel's been hogging the computer, and all the times she's not using it, someone else bigger than me will come by and knock me off my green ass so I completely lose my position of power. The internet is power. Aaaaanyway, here I am! Cue confetti and streamers, everybody! The frog is in the house!

I may not have been making my web presence felt much, but that doesn't mean I haven't been up to stuff!

I'm tellin' ya!

This frog has been going places!

Yes, many places! Lookie here - there's the Mystery Pudge and me! (All right, all right, he's Nick, but doesn't Mystery Pudge sound muuuuuch cooler?)

I tell you, the view from that high-up deck was swelllll. Terrific, that was our little family getaway on Mimi's birthday, which was last Sunday. I can still feel the sun on my (non-slimy) green skin.

It was a wonderful celebration, which is why I'm still not done raving over it. I'm telling you, my post about being allowed the lighter was just the start of the celebrations!

Aaaaand we took a cable carrr.

and we sang Mimi a song! I conducted, because I don't sing. I'm shy that way.

To end off the night, I'm tellin' ya, it's good to bunk in with Big Al, because he cooks good food and when he's not cooking good food, he goes scouting for good food! And I love food!


We tried a Chinese dish called Yee Sheng! Which is actually a salad. Funny thing was, we got said Chinese dish from a Japanese restaurant! Hello Singapore!

You've got to say auspicious Mandarin phrases as you put all the ingredients in. Like 年年有鱼 Nian nian yo yu, which would mean Year Year Have Fish, which means food all year round, and who's to say no to that! There are other phrases, but I can't quite recall.

It's pretty good, I quite liked it! There even is fish in! FISH! Salmon. A pretty pink also!

Hey Mimi, here's a big thank you from your most favourite frog in the Whole Wide World! THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY!

I'm looking forward to more birthdays!

Bring 'em on, fellas!

Me and you, Mimi!

You know, when Mimi's not being all studious, she's actually makes quite the conversation!

Love to you, Mimi!
Kodok

Good morning Mr President

Remember my buddy, Mr Obama?

Mr President, you're my man!

When I grow up, I want to be the first Green President!

Friend of the President
Kodok

Birthdays and a grown-up frog

Imma big boy now, Yolly said so. So she let me try out the nutty cool fire gun. The big lighter contraption. I like Yolly, she trusts me with dangerous things!

But Mimi, who is the birthday girl today, Mimi said we've got to hide all the lighters now, and all the candles and matches. He's a dangerous frog, she said. So now I'm a fire hazard.

On my make believe "First Birthday Party" some time back, Mimi sang the birthday song for me as she lit the (pink) candles on my (chocolate) cake, and she sang Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, It's the last one for froggy... And she held the lighter to my green head. And for awhile I was afraid and I was wondering if that was what birthdays were about. Like some kind of ritualistic initiation! But Mimi stopped and laughed nuttily. Phew.

Frogging Chinatown

Remember when Mel and I went roaming?

This little froggy went to Chinatown.

This frog working the streets! Many people looked my way in appreciation of my beauty... as usual! Like some lady once said to me, Frogs are lucky! Especially to the Chinese! And in Chinatown, there are many Chinese.

Magic! said the man. Magic ice cream! Colourful!

Not so magic, I thought. Like popsicles, I observed. From the flavoured drinks! Oh that took away the magic!

There were newspaper clippings about the man and his magic, I couldn't really read them because they were in Mandarin, and Mel did not fancy standing right smack in the middle of the streets staring at that newspaper clipping in the hopes of deciphering the ancient language!

It would be nice to believe in magic.

How nice to be magic!

That is a lucky man!

Wasn't Chinese New Year about watching your words, pretending to live like a king, and seeing everything as an auspicious symbol? (Don't you mention bad bad things! Put down those scissors! DON'T TOUCH THAT BROOM. AND DON'T WASH YOUR HAIR.)

My question was: WHAT'S WITH THE SKULLS, GUYS! For young punks! Said the man at the stall. He was referring to the New Generation, i.e. us... Not this frog! I said.

Then this little froggy went whee whee whee, all the way hoooome! (And then proceeded to settle his little green ass on Mystery Pudge's table.)

Note nice red balloon! It's Mimi's, because her 16th birthday is coming up! I think I like birthdays! And this will be my first Sweet Sixteenth birthday party! I wonder what it would be like!

Your favourite green frog is loving you too
Kodok

H'gneeekhh-ehk

Hello hello, H'gneeekhh-ehk! Look what I was up to today!

I WENT TO SCHOOL NEKKID. Yes, because I got real grubby yesterday and Mel gave me a bath. And so I slept in the nudey also!

Woohoo, this is liberating.

Seriously considering joining a nudist colony... not!
Kodok ... not!

(Yeah, this frog overheard Kim cracking Borat jokes! ... not!)

Mel was cutting out bits of cardboard to make a new toy. I thought these looked very much like Very Scary Teeth, and there I went, my photogenic little green self.

Walking

I had a great time out today! We roamed! This time, we roamed Far Far Away! We even went to a pub! Oh! Everything was so exciting! We started off the day trying to locate Millenia Walk and in the process encountered the Fountain of Wealth! So we explored its depths! (And got lucky, woohoo!) And when we located Millenia Walk, we explored many shops, but mainly the diecast toyshop where they sold models of cars and bikes (motorbikes, yesyesyes!) and planes and miniature helmets. We were waiting for Candy Empire to throw open its sweet gates. And we were very early. Roaming started at 8.30am for us! Mel was very thrilled by the Harley-Davidson bikes and emblems and all.

I also met ... this popular dude.

Yo 'Bama! Yes, very popular indeed!

And along the way, I had some neat photographs taken of my beautiful self!

Because everybody knows I am beautiful, and beautiful feels so good!

Your beautiful frog
Kodok

A little lesson in the Malay language: Today a Malay couple on the train were praising my beauty, but they called me katak, which is a more accurate translation of "frog". Kodok is more towards a "toad"-ish nature. But I am Kodok, and that is my name. I am frog, hear me ... roar?

About names, today in Chinatown, we spotted a sign that said in Mandarin "Open not your mouth (i.e. Say not a word!), and your surname will be guessed", presumably by the dubious looking man behind the makeshift table. Hmm. I was greatly tempted to ask him to guess mine. Frogobo. Let's see him handle that! Mel wanted to ask him, silently. But we were walking on...

Nothing of the sort!

Dear General Public,

Please do not be alarmed!

Oh no no no! This recent comment on my post Edible stuff worried me so! So I did a little research of my own!

ex•hi•bi•tion•ism |ˌeksəˈbi sh əˌnizəm| noun extravagant behavior that is intended to attract attention to oneself.
• Psychiatry a mental condition characterized by the compulsion to display one's genitals in public.

Oh roving eyes have found me! C'mon dude, you make me sound like an exhibitionist. So I am Kodok and I am here today to assure you that I am NOTHING OF THE SORT!

I realise that my last post Supermarket! has images of a nude me splashed all over the internet! You must be thinking, What a scandal! What shame! No, everybody! Stop! Umm... hold your horses!

I am but a frog! And I did what I did.

Doesn't that humiliate you... is being in the buff your nature? An answer to your question, Nicholas:-
There is no shame in my greenness.


Shamelessly
Kodok

P.S. You might like to note that my nudity was not without reason. I was having myself weighed, and while I was initially sporting my favourite windbreaker (that makes me look sharp!), I had to strip to my green skin for an accurate reading! Also, there is an unspoken rule that while stuffed into an empty transparent plastic bag, one should ideally be stark naked and make no attempt to cover oneself. This frog was just doing as he rightly should!

P.P.S. Thank you Nicholas, I am greatly encouraged by your fervent support of my activities! Write me a letter sometime!

Supermarket!

Grocery shopping last night was the best! We were at Bukit Timah Plaza and I met a Giant Santa! I was too exhausted last night to tell you about all of this!

Look! A Giant Santa! I'm showing you! Yes yes yes! All 80kg of him! Delicious! Now if only the glass casing wasn't there... I think I'd have found my new favourite food other than raisins and tim-tams! Just one thing... It's been in there for TWO YEARS. Two whole years. This frog had second thoughts about getting his webbed feet on Santa when he heard that!



And because a healthy frog is better than a sick one, I had a little health check-up done! They don't call it a supermarket for nothing! You could do anything there!


And... the results!

Yes, your favourite little green pal weighs in at a trim and fit 502 grams! Ignore the fact that the Mettler Toledo weighing machine is saying that I cost $1.25, because I DO NOT. Also ignore the fact that it says "Broccoli Flower". Because, even though we are both green, I am no flower!

This entire family of lumbering humans stopped in their tracks to admire my greenness (and my great gripping power) at the wine section while I was posing for this shot.

Kim's camera phone takes pretty neat pictures, doesn't it!

It was a great day! Till my next post, this is me saying goodbye!

GOODBYE!

(I wanted to be stuffed in that plastic bag thing, it looked fun! And I thought it'd be funny to find a frog in the bread section. And that is what I did!)

Your favourite frog
Ollie

A wonderful walk on a wonderful day

So I woke up pretty late today, because Mel was sleeping in too, and there was no reason not to have a lazy Saturday. We wanted to roam, but it was great weather to be a homebody.

I was snacking on grapes, which are what raisins come from. There was once a man who thought that raisins grew on trees. He was mistaken, and embarrassed of his mistake, so I hope that everybody will know that raisins do not grow on trees. Because they don't.

And so this is me, eating grapes.

Snackeroo! I've found a new friend in grapes. I rather like them.

Just as I was about to start being a lazy frog, I spied, with my little green eyes, this:


A TRACTOR. IN THE BACKYARD.

OFF I SCURRIED! To ask Yolly if we could go out for awhile, to see the man in the field with the tractor, and I said that it was a beautiful tractor and not to worry, we would be careful and that of course we will not return all muddy from the fields, and that we will definitely watch out for puddles and big holes in the earth because we might fall in those and how could anyone find us there?

It was all breezy. And life was wonderful and perfect (as always). Yolly said Put on your raincoats! and that is what I did. We both put on raincoats. These raincoats are from long ago too. I find them rather fine! It's been many years since anyone's worn them. The sleeves came a little short for Mel, and it was large for a frog my size, but I was to be carried. (Because I am but a frog, and walking at Mel-speed is not for me!)

And so we scampered off to the backyard and we were excited! And while waiting, I sat on this fire hydrant, which is a wonderful shade of red. And the earth was smelling very fresh. It was very nice, to sit there and wait.

Before I settled myself on the hydrant, I was perched rather uncomfortably on a tree! I will show you how!


Note how my little hands are working very hard to get my froggy ass to stay in a safe spot!

But I do think that it is a beautiful tree! There is another tree which I have taken quite a liking to, on the other end of the field. There are two fields. Mel pointed it out to me the other day. We saw it while waiting for the shuttle bus to the MRT.

And after we'd satisfied ourselves marveling at the tractor, we trekked off to the previously-unexplored places beyond our estate. It was quite quiet. (Quite and quiet are spelt very alike!) And along the way, these little green eyes of mine did more spying!

Look! A squished paper cup from that new restaurant. Ooooh that gave me the shivers! Reminds me of that game where the frog crosses the road and if you're not careful he gets squished by passing cars. Zoom zoom. Luckily, I was being carried. Anyway there weren't many sights to behold in the Estates Beyond. So we returned to the fields to watch the birds follow the tractor and the tractor in action.

And when we were satisfied, we went back home and along the way I was exhausted (even though I was being carried all the while), and I asked to be put down for awhile. On a bench. A nice dry bench, please and thank you. You must remember that it had rained before, and that most benches were not very dry. So Mel put me down on a bench. She had to. I was whining quite a bit at that point, and I wanted to have a rest. And that is what I did.

We continued the walk back home and I came across a very horrifying sight! Especially if you're just less than an inch away!

ANTS. LOTS OF THEM. And here, they look like they're parading on cheese, but no, it was a wall. A plain wall, that I'm sure is not tasty.

Then we returned home and we decided it was a great walk! And an evening surprise: Yolly and Al wanted to take us ALL out. For dinner! But I was to stay in the car, said Mel. Because they were going to a hawker centre. Hmpffffff. But they let me stretch my legs (and my hands, when I wanted things, and I wanted many things) at the supermarket.

I drew many compliments! And little girls were drawn to my beauty (again!). And I met a chocolate Santa.

And on the way home, Mimi grabbed me and fiddled with my arms. Hey, do you realise this is the first time I'm holding him? she said. I'm irresistible, I know!

Utterly irresistible
Kodok

Edible stuff

This frog spotted these delectables in the middle of the dining table the other night when I was prancing around in my nightie. I had a good mind to explore the insides of one of them. Especially the green one, because it's green. No, maybe the orange one, because it isn't green. Oh I had a good mind to have them both for a nighttime snack. I'm running low on my raisins, and there are no tim-tams in the fridge.

But I saw dubious Mandarin characters on them, and I suppose Yolly means them for some sort of decoration, so I decided I'd just deal with my hunger on my own. I couldn't have fixed myself a meal. I mean, I am but a frog, no? So I went and snacked on Fat Pudge's fingers. There are always a little Essence of Fried Chicken on those fat fingers.

And that is what I did.

Less hungry
Kodok

This is what I did last night

I got ready for bed last night in my new nightie. Which is actually old because someone wore it before me, many years ago.

I didn't go with Mel to school today, she said there was to be a debate, and I am not keen on sitting in on verbal warfare. I think debates are silly, especially if you're just doing it for school and arguing won't change anything. It doesn't really matter anyway, because they're going to debate on something they aren't really bothered about anyway.

So after I watched Mel leave without me, I went back to nap on the sofa. That is what I did! Yolly said I was a lazy frog and that I should spend my time doing something else. Like swimming. I know what she means. She means taking a "bath" with a potentially fatal end. And I am no frog to fall for such trickery! :) But I know she would never do that. I am her favourite frog.

Sleepily
Kodok

Say my name!

Fans, Froglings, Friendies,

The recent address on the Anti-Frog blog is one we hold in contempt, but while we find amusement in their childish foolishness, let us rejoice in this rare moment of wisdom. The above paragraphs, excerpts from the address, hail Mel as a "power(ful)" entity "not (to) be taken lightly". And they mention my name! Oh I love dah intarweb.

All my friends on Facebook know I'm a good frog. All 9 of them! That is many friends for a frog, just starting out on the internet. They know I really am a good frog.

Actually all this fuss over me is really very flattering. I am but a frog!

Your little green frog
Kodok

Anti-frog?!

The creators of the above message, which can be found here, have been ever so courteous to inform me of their actions and anti-frog agendas. I suspect this is the working of online-run militant organisation, Frogs Run On Gas (FROG), which accuses frogs of being the cause of global warming. C'mon guys, we're green!

I urge everyone not to fear for my safety! Keep your tadpoles safe.

I will "love thy enemies" and not do something mean back. Because I'm a good frog, I will do nothing and fight violence with peace. Like Ghandi, right? Ghandi is a cool dude. And that is what I'll do.

Bravely yours
Kodok

Roaming

Me and Mel went out today because there wasn't anything to do. I didn't get to see much of the school today because I was confined to The Backpack. Oh well, I am but a frog.

So Me and Mel went to Bugis today to do what Mel calls Roaming. We went to many places. We even went to Sim Lim the place with all the electronic things. I saw a huge jade carving, I would have liked a photograph. Like when you visit the museum, and you see things and you want photographs.

And we went to the big Art Friend and look what Mel got! The big A3-sized cutting board she's been wanting. It's big! I can sit on it! I will show you!


There! I have shown you! And that's not all of it you're seeing. But I suppose you know how big A3 is. We wanted an A2 cutting board, because it was the biggest. But Mel said Be sensible, Kodok! Actually we did want it, but we were also getting a new can of spraypaint, so we thought we'd settle for this size. It's big enough! We picked a yellow-orange shade of paint. I think Mel's got an idea. Why else would she pick yellow! I'm her frog! I know!

There were old Chinese ladies by the streets with signs that said "Change your name, and you have to change your surname" or something like that in Mandarin. We don't know if we misinterpreted. Maybe people change their names for luck. Anyway speaking of names, I think I would never change mine. Ollie Kodok Frogobo. It is a very pleasant name. A very sensible one, also. And I think it suits me fine.

Your happy frog
OLLIE KODOK FROGOBO

Hiding place

Me in our secret corner yesterday! So comfy.

And I think sometimes, lousy phone cameras take nice photos. This looks all sepia-toned. And you know I'm green! Oh, I like this photograph of me.

A schooling frog!

Yesterday Mel took me to school! It was the first lecture day of the term! I remember being at the first lecture day last term! What a thrill, right? The last time I went to a lecture, I was NEKKID!!!! WOOHOO! No clothes! Lectures aren't really my idea of fun, but we entertained ourselves. I met Nat, who is very encouraging of my expressing myself through a blog. He understands me! When I get my handphone with a plan that lets me have unlimited SMS-es, I will SMS him to say hello. Bryan, on the other hand, is a meanie. He says I can't talk, and he says I have to stay in Mel's backpack. Luckily Mel doesn't pay him any attention. Today I overheard him say One day you will wake up to find Kodok lying flat out on your bed with all the beans spilling out. Still smiling. Meano. Everyone else was fawning over me, though, which makes me very proud of my attractiveness.

Today I went to school again. And we saw that big bald man with black glasses. He gave them back some stuff which looked important. They all passed so that is good. I think many people wear black glasses. I wonder why.

Hmm.


Well well well says Mel. Those are her glasses.

How do I look?

Googly-eyed.

Frog-with-the-googly-eyes,
Kodok

TO ALL YA SUCKAHS OUT THERE!

Today was awesome! We visited the Old Neighbourhood, and went to Kovan Mall. I suppose after Jurong Point being all epic-ish, no other mall will ever cut it for this frog. I mean, that mall is HUGE. Anyway some little Chinese girl in the bookstore went "waaah" in awe of my beauty and reached out in an attempt to help herself to a piece of me, but NO! Mel was speedy and she grabbed my green head, and gave the girl a Go-Away-Finger, which is the pointy finger that says no-no-no. Silly little girl.

And at the hairdresser's, I was fawned over by everyone! Well they also tried to get me to prove my writing abilities, but c'mon... As Kim says, I am but a frog! I told Mel to tell them that I'd need a computer. But there wasn't any computer in sight, so I announced that I was afraid my talents would have to remain hidden.

We went to get dinner, and there were prissy people around. Well I'm no frog to take stuff lying down! I really would've liked to say "SO LONG SUCKAHS, THIS FROG IS LEAVIN' THE BUILDIN'!" But that would really take away the whole sweet-and-innocent image and all, so I thought I'd have to do it quietly.

As Melly carried me out, this is what I did...

THAT'S MY GREENIE MIDDLE FINGER, THAT IS!

And that is what I did! To all you suckers out there - YOU SUCK! WOOHOO!

Proud-of-his-little-green-self Frog,
Kodok

P.S. SO LONG SUCKAHS!

Shock and horror!

This was a terrifying day. I thought I'd got off to a grand start, with breakfast and all, and my raisins and tim-tams.

All was well... or so I thought.

I watched as Yolly crafted a mean message to Mel.

How's the going... Mr Frogobo a.k.a. Kodok is throwing tantrums. Complains of being too stuffed up in windbreaker. Too hot. Needs a swim badly. Shall put him in the washing machine.

Now if I had myself a handphone, I'd have a good mind to put an end to that nonsense! What lies. Complaining of being stuffed up, indeed! I say! Luckily, she was soon distracted and I was saved from The Machine.

But the accusations didn't end there! Around mid-evening, I was rudely awakened from my happy slumber by a certain fat gentleman, or should I say, pudgy little rude boy. He threw me onto his hard teak desk, and as I was rubbing my rump, he switched on the brightest light ever. Trust me, I never thought the little flahes of light would stop! What they tell you about "seeing stars", it's all true. Those Tom & Jerry cartoons where the birdies circle their heads whenever they're out cold? All true. This frog's been there and back.

Mystery Pudge announced "AN INTERROGATION!" and upon seeing me cower at the bright lights, "AH-HAH, HE MUST BE GUILTY." Of what, I had no idea! But I caught up later with the gossip. He'd misplaced a panda-teddy-bear. I suppose he thought he'd get away with negligence by putting the blame on someone else. Hmpfffht. Well his blamin' days are ovah!

I've the right mind to go clobber him. And that is what I'll do.

Your Friendly Frog,
Kodok

(That's me there - a proud survivor! This was a dangerous day to be a frog.)

Home Alone

Mel went off to school and because it was going to involve physical exertion, I wisely decided it was best to stay home.

I still woke up real early, though, because Yolly said breakfast was ready. So zoom went Mel and I into the kitchen. The early frog gets the good bits, and I got my fill!

So now I'm all home and alone, well except for Yolly and Ben and they're paying me no heed, but they're okay.

I'm wearing my favourite windbreaker, the one that makes me look sharp, just to let you know!

I think I'll go grab a snackeroo, all snug in my windbreaker and in the couch. I guess that is what I'll do!

Well raisins and tim-tams, here I come! Snackeroo!

And that is what I did.

Let's go fly a kite!

Today Mel and I woke up waaay past noon, I think, because I didn't check, but I'm pretty sure. And anyway we're both still in our pyjamas so I suppose you'd think we didn't do much anything today. But we did!

So this is the gang in our backyard. It was chilly out so I put on one of my sweaters. (Yolly gave me quite many!) We tried to fly a kite, that is what we did! We didn't really manage to, but that's okay.

Big Al held the kite up and Kim (that's her in the photograph, with Chloe, who's quite fine!) ran but I suppose she didn't quite run fast enough, because the kite didn't take off.

And Nick thought he was being all cool by having me a ride in his bicycle basket, and I was with my grubby hands in the air and halfway through a "WHEEEE" when dear old fatty HAD to flop over and into the air I went, and down into the dirt I went. But not for long because what's a frog to do other than pick himself up. Luckily Mel came to my rescue and she was yelling "GIMME BACK MY FROG". Meanwhile, Nick was trying to salvage his dignity.

Soon it got dark and we trooped back indoors, and Kim was saying to Mel Hey imagine if we hid Kodok in a field and left him there, and forgot all about him, imagine that! And I'd think Mel would have it in her heart to say No Way, but she said And we could come back with torches yelling Koooodooook where are you!

And all the while, I was rubbing my green head because of that fall into the dirt. And my hands were filthy (as usual, but more so). Hmpfh.

But I think that quite knocked some sense into me because I had a Revelation. And I decided it would be cool to get myself a blog. And that is what I did.